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Love those ads.

People say they hate negative political ads, but the reality is conflict is the soul of drama, and negative ads work. They can make you hate anything. Here, read this in your own slimy political ad voice.

Apple pie. Many people equate apple pie with America, but is apple pie what America really wants? That’s certainly what Apple Pie would have you believe. Many people have questions, why does it have a crust? What is it trying to hide, and why is it so often served with French vanilla? Apple pie wants you to think it’s American, but is it really?

Very sad. Having been the target of negative ads myself once upon a time, I made my peace with them long ago. Maybe because I remember the heyday of trash TV. . Maury Povitch.  Morton Downey. And 30 years ago, at the peak of my music career, I even wrote a hymn to negative political ads.

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Jerry Springer is too tame for me. I want a good fight when I watch TV; I want it nasty. I want it bad. That’s why I love those political ads.

I want to see a political ad. I want to see politicians get mad. I want to see if they spend a million bucks to say that their opponent sucks.

One guy hates the other’s guts. One guy calls the other a . This guy says he never lies, while his opponent hates the elderly, hates children, hates the flag, makes truck bombs, is dating your wife, passes stop school busses and doesn’t care if your kid’s hamster dies.

Give me another negative ad. I want to see grown-ups acting bad. Set an example for our children that only suckers tell the truth. Yeah, we want to see politicians be bad. That’s why I love those negative ads more colorful than the leaves in autumn, they tell us all we need to know about the jerk who bought them.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.