³ÉÈËXÕ¾

John Curley got a new hat! (Yes, this is what counts as news for Curley.)

“I always loved hats,” he said on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Radio’s John Curley and Shari Show. “But my family made fun of hats, constantly. Anytime you put a hat on, they would go, ‘What is this, some new hat phase?'”

“And my mom was always like, ‘Let me warn you right now: You never want to put on a hat you find in the park. Old men poop in them.’ I remember learning that as a kid and I was always deathly afraid of hats,” John continued.

While he says his mom denied saying that, his siblings remember hearing the same advice. His mom finally gave in and said, “Well, it’s good advice and it’s true advice.”

“I’ve never seen a hat in a park, ever,” host Shari Elliker laughed. “Is there like a hat pile? ‘Go over there by the hat pile, and watch out for the poop!'”

Thankfully, John’s new hat was not found at a park.

“I found this at a store,” he clarified.

“So I’ve been trying to find a cowboy hat because I live out here, and went to a store that sold old hats. It was called … old hat store, and I went in there, it’s right next to a park,” he joked. “It’s really a collection of hats. I tried all these hats on and none of them work because my face is long and thin, angular-like, and I look weird. Then finally, it was like this amazing moment, I found this hat for 30 bucks and I thought, this is my whole new personality building up around this hat.”

He wears the hat and says he noticed that he has started to wink.

“That’s my new personality, the hat and the winking,” he said.

Both Shari and traffic reporter Tracy Taylor told John to cool it on the winking or he might come off as flirtatious.

“I think it’s great,” Shari said about the hat, “but I’d watch the winking because you’re going to send a message there.”

“All right, I’m going to keep working on the winking,” John said. “How about both eyes opening and closing real hard?”

Listen to the John Curley and Shari Show weekday afternoons from 3 – 7 p.m. on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.