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Screen time, which used to be considered bad for young children, has become the only way for a lot of them to see their grandparents.

And I’m here to testify; it seems to work. The latest innovation is just to give the kid the phone, and they get it at age two, heck, before age two. I know a 10-month-old who already instinctively poses when the phone comes out.

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So it’s in the genes. Evolution has just been waiting for this moment. But I have to tell you, the pressure can be intense because unless Grandpa is at least as entertaining as the nearby toys, the phone might suddenly cut to a picture of the ceiling fan, which means you’ve been canceled.

That’s why I bring in Grandma as a special guest so she can do her fish lips, which are always a big hit.

But the question comes up, where do I draw the line? Do I resort to skipping a number on purpose while counting to 10? Or even worse, using special effects and appearing as a talking cat?

No, I will not. I will stick to stuff that I could pull off in person because I used to hate it when I went to a concert and the songs sounded nothing like the record, so I don’t want to show up and have the kids say, ‘Grandpa, how come you’re not a cat?’

Yeah, well, why do you suppose that is, little girl? Meow.

No, I will keep it real. I can make pencil toppers pop through my beard, so take that, Mr. BunBun.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on ³ÉÈËXÕ¾ Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.